抖森为你读诗 |《我在》约翰·克莱尔

【福利】
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【导语】
The following is by English poet, John Clare, son of a farm labourer, he was often inspired by the natural world, but this, his most famous work, is a poem that deals with self awareness, loneliness, a longing for both the cradle and the grave, amid his struggle with mental health which led to his admittance to an asylum.
接下来这首诗来自英国诗人约翰·克莱尔，他是一个农场工人的儿子，所有常常受到大自然启发。但这首他最著名的诗，是关于自我意识、孤独、对摇篮和坟墓的渴望，还有他关于精神健康方面的挣扎。
【诗歌原文】
I Am
by John Clare
I am—yet what I am none cares or knows;
My friends forsake me like a memory lost:
I am the self-consumer of my woes—
They rise and vanish in oblivious host,
Like shadows in love’s frenzied stifled throes
And yet I am, and live—like vapours tossed
Into the nothingness of scorn and noise,
Into the living sea of waking dreams,
Where there is neither sense of life or joys,
But the vast shipwreck of my life’s esteems;
Even the dearest that I loved the best
Are strange—nay, rather, stranger than the rest.
I long for scenes where man hath never trod
A place where woman never smiled or wept
There to abide with my Creator, God,
And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept,
Untroubling and untroubled where I lie
The grass below—above the vaulted sky.
【诗歌译文】
我在
约翰·克莱尔
我在——却无人问津；
我的朋友像失忆般把我抛弃：
我是我悲哀的自我消耗者——
在健忘的主人这里，它们出现又消失，
像爱的狂乱、窒息、痛苦的阴影
可我还在，我活着——像飘散的蒸汽。
进入嘲讽和噪声的虚无，
进入醒着做梦的现实之海，
那里感觉不到生命，感觉不到快乐，
只能感觉到，我的尊严所遭受的巨大挫败；
甚至连我的挚爱
也变得陌生——不，甚至比旁人更陌生。
我渴望人类从未涉足的风景
在那里，女人从不微笑或哭泣
在那里，与我的创造者，上帝，同在，
睡得就像童年般香甜，
我躺卧的地方既不扰人也不为人所扰
身下是草——头顶是穹苍。